You had total control over your use of vocabulary, and everything tied in nicely. I enjoyed your style because it flowed so well.
I also found it interesting how you incorperated a quote into your thesis. I thought a few of the sentences were a bit structurally awkward.
For example, you wrote "Throughout the short story Miss Brill shares no physical dialogue with any of the appearing characters despite the numerous people that walks past. A few small issues like that were the only thing that distracted me from your essay. Your essay, which was written in a different point of view than I had used, really made me see how stream of consciousness really fit the story as a whole.
Before it didn't make sense to me, but after reading this, I had more of an "ah ha! I thought it was a lovely essay. Jenny, I thought you did a great job on this paper! Everything flowed so well, and the structure of the essay itself was very organized. I liked how you blended your quotations in as well. I didn't feel a point where I was lost or felt as if I was trying to figure out your point.
Also, the quotes you used really gave a lot of evidence to what you were trying to prove. The vocabulary you used really just added to it as well. I agree with Kayla, some of it was a bit awkward. It didn't pull me away from the reading at all though. It was just something that was a bit bothering but can easy be fixed. Also I noticed the paragraphs were a bit unbalanced. I noticed some of the paragraphs would have more detail and evidence than others. For example, the first body paragraph didn't really make me truely believe in what you were saying.
I have a difficult time describing HOW authors accomplish things in their writing. Your essay definately gave me a clearer picture on what I should be writing about in mine. Your essay was great! I want to congragulate you on your most obvious excellent essay--which you deserve the grade you received!
I know, read me your essay on the phone the night before the essay was due and I told you I loved it. But, now, I get to read it in depth. To start things off, I want to comment on your thesis statement in your introductory paragraph. Just by reading it, you provide me with the topic of your essay--therefore, I immediately know what you are going to write about. I agree with your choice of point of view in which the author writes the story in--although I chose omniscient and nonparticipant.
I see where I went wrong because the stream of conciousness basically sums it all up. I also love your use of vocabulary I also like how you ended your second body paragraph with a quote I would've never been able to pull that off. Speaking of body paragraphs, they are very detailed and your use of textual evidence proves the points that you are trying to make and you nailed it, in my opinion. Also, I agree with Kayla when she says your essay flows nicely, fluidly.
It's not chunky or stative. Minor little grammatical errors were the only problems that I noticed in your essay. I don't think there really is a need to point it out, but here it is: She refuses to be defeated, and in her resistance she leads herself to self deception. I really can't think of anything to further improve your essay. Now I see why you used stream of conciousness point of view.
As I mentioned before, I used two different point of views and now that I think of it, I realize that it would have made more sense to just use stream of conciousness. Also, I see that I didn't really focus on how the author played out her purpose through the point of view, I focused more on what was being said.
But, reading your essay helped me see the light. First let me say how much I love your writing style here, Jenny. It is very well constructed and flows incredably. I had a hard time finding things to critique, but this is what I came up with: I just feel there were certain times where you could have used the text more, and convinced my better. All in all though, I say you did a good job, and fully seserved your 8. Hey Jenny, I was impressed specifically with how you opened your paper.
It shows variation and development of style. Since I tend to do this I admire how you were able to come up with an engaging opening statement. Overall I thought you had relevant evidence and wrote your paper in a stylistically mature way.
What was going to happen now? They were all on the stage. Even she had a part and came every Sunday. If there was an almond it was like carrying home a tiny present—a surprise—something that might very well not have been there.
She unclasped the necklet quickly; quickly, without looking, laid it inside. But when she put the lid on she thought she heard something crying. Sign In Sign Up. Teach your students to analyze literature like LitCharts does. Detailed explanations, analysis, and citation info for every important quote on LitCharts. The original text plus a side-by-side modern translation of every Shakespeare play. LitCharts From the creators of SparkNotes, something better. Miss Brill by Katherine Mansfield.
Download this Lit Guide! LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Miss Brill , which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Related Themes from Other Texts. Compare and contrast themes from other texts to this theme…. Miss Brill is a short story written by Katherine Mansfield and it was published in a collection of stories called The Garden Party in The story is about a woman who goes to her usual Sunday afternoon walk on Jardins Publiques and what happened there with her that day.
In order to provide a study guide about this short story, this paper will analyze the the structure of Plot and the Characters created by the author on Miss Brill. Considering Plot, Miss Brill is a story about a lonely woman who lived in an apartment in France and taught English to students. However, this eavesdrop became a problem when at that day a young couple sat near Miss Brill and started a conversation about her.
The first element of plot is the exposition. The second element of plot should be the rising action.
An Analysis of Theme of Katherine Mansfield's Miss Brill. "Miss Brill" a fictional story written by Katherine Mansfield, was published in The story depicts Miss Brill as a disillusioned, elderly woman, desperately seeking acceptance from the society in which she lives.
The change that Miss Brill is forced to undergo is understandable through symbolism, characterization, and theme. [tags: Miss Brill Essays] Free Essays words | ( pages) | Preview. The Imagination of Miss Brill in Katherine Mansfield's Miss Brill.
The central theme of “Miss Brill” is the pain of loneliness, and inadvertent attempts to experience life through the experiences of total strangers. From the beginning of the narrative it becomes apparent that Miss Brill is starving for warmth and companionship. Text only | Back. English Composition 1 Sample ENG Essay on Mansfield's "Miss Brill" "The End of an Illusion," written by Jamie Fast for an ENG class at IVCC, is an excellent essay on Katherine Mansfield's "Miss Brill." The essay is a winner of IVCC's Richard Publow Memorial Scholarship, and Jamie has given permission to a textbook publisher that has requested to include part of the.
Free Essay: In the story "Miss Brill," an old, lonely lady spends her Sunday observing people in a park. Although ignored by everyone around her. The theme of isolation, and the round character the author Katherine Mansfield shows is brought upon by Miss Brill; The thought of getting rejected by society in the story “Miss Brill”. Related Essays.